It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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