No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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