I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I didn't shave. On purpose
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
