I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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