is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
