This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
