Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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