God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
