Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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