A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
