Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
