...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
