I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
