You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
