Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
