I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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