I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
