just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I am one with the molecules
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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