i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
