You're so nebulous sometimes
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
