would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
