My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
