So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My vagina just recognized that song.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
