Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
