I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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