these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
