Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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