I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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