I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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