i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
