he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
