you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
