We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
