So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
