those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
