i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he puts the penis in happiness.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
