I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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