I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
