I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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