why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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