In America we eat man semen.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
