You're my little dorito
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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