Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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