Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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