You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
