i think my tv is drunk
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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