idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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