call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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