I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
