Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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