dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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