Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
