Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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